For Practice
by GCATYA
Summary: A tale of a heart felt ceremony between the greatest pair in Monogatari.


Hi guys, this is my first ever fanfic. I really love the dynamic and relationship of the two obvious characters, I hope I didn't butcher their personalities too much.

I wanted to tell a story from a certain character's perspective, and I obviously took great liberties with their feelings.

I hope my writing isn't terrible, and most importantly please enjoy and review :)

* * *

To me this is an important story. I rarely tell a full and proper story, I hardly think anyone deserves to hear a story told by a legendary vampire. However, at this point I do believe it's about time you understood a small portion of my world. Although, reflecting upon that statement I realise small is the opposite of what I believe. No, opposite of small would still infer the wrong connotation. Portion doesn't help either. My world is relatively quite small, but it means everything to me. I doubt I would ever tell him that.

On this fortuitous day, I'll share this story with you.

How lucky you are.

Where does a story begin is something my master might ask. I know with more certainty how this tale begins. The night of my master's wedding, the wedding between him and his human muse. My master and I, two souls who found each other, even with over 500 years between us, are akin to soulmates and bonded for eternity now. Yet somehow my master still desires a mortal lover.

I know my master must realise such a relationship could never work. The immortality of a vampire, especially one derived from a pedigree such as mine, will hopelessly outlast the life of any normal human. For that matter, any paranormal aberration likely wouldn't outlast our immortality either.

To be fair, my master isn't quite a vampire, but referring to my master as a human would be an insult to other humans. Humans whose lifespans will feel inconsequential to the eternity my master and I will spend together.

Immortal.

Eternity.

Together.

It's laughable that my master, a man crazy enough to offer his neck to a dying vampire. A man daring enough to reduce a legendary vampire to a pitiful state. A man reckless enough to flaunt the seemingly endless torrent of fawning women and apparitions in front of his partner. A man who can only see what's right in front of him. A man devoid of any sort of perverse restraint. This man is my partner.

But, I don't think there's any other man like him.

My master offered his neck to me when I was so close to death and gave me the opportunity to save a sacrificial soul for the first time in hundreds of years.

The man who after 500 years saved me.

My master and my servant, my soulmate; Koyomi Araragi.

The man I fell in love with.

I Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, Lord of the Night, and King of all Oddities, the Iron-Blooded, Hot-Blooded, Cold-Blooded Legendary Vampire entirely love, no, live for this man. There's no point denying it at this point. To begin with, the relationship of vampires is one transcendental and deeper than nearly all others.

Master and servant, partners, companions, lovers, soulmates. There are many different interpretations of the dynamic between a vampiric master and thrall.

I'll tell you this now. The relationship of two vampires is not for the faint of heart. A true bond that dwarfs any relationship two humans could ever hope to achieve. A bond that will stand eternal.

Although here my master is, about to wed the first lovers hold in his long life. My pride should be offended, I should be bleeding envy, and murderously wrathful to my core that my master would do this when he is bonded to me.

But I can't.

Were you not paying attention, the bond between two vampires is as immortal as I am. Why would I care about a relationship that could never hold a candle to the relationship between my master and myself. Eventually his human lover will perish, along with his friends, his family, even his memory of them all too. They will all dwindle away like starlight in the vast expanse of space.

This reason alone is why many vampires create servants in the first place. To escape the terrifying clutches of loneliness.

For most vampires, a servant is strictly just that. Those vampires are weak, their immortality may as well knock on death's personal home door compared to my own. Stronger, powerful vampires like myself tend to create servants more sparingly.

Understandably so.

A servant inherits their strength from their master and has the potential to slay their master if they become more powerful. I doubt that could happen to me though, after all, I am the king of all oddities.

So why didn't I make many servants?

Well, it was simply because I enjoyed my unaccompanied vampiric life gallivanting the world over. I felt no need for a partner.

When I made the man who became my first servant it was out of desperation.

Don't think of me as a capricious woman, my feelings for him were anything but desperate at the time. However, that man did not become the partner I desired and after his death I swore never to make another servant again.

You're already aware of how my second and current servant came to be.

So, without further ado, I will tell the story of how my master and I had our own wedding or at least something reminiscent of.

* * *

My master feels nervous, in fact he is oozing it. If I couldn't already feel his emotions through our link then I was sure to drown of it. I should relieve the tension before my mind suffocates.

"Master." I call out from his shadow.

"Shinobu! You're awake, at this hour?" He says as I emerge gracefully from his shadow into the scene.

I get taken back a moment by my master's appearance. His raven black wedding kimono hugged his shoulders neatly and wrapped around his waist comfortably. His combed back hair gives him a more serious demeanour. It's rare to see his forehead, the hairstyle suits him almost too well.

I'm a little proud my master can appear so roguish and handsome. You shouldn't expect any less from a servant of mine.

"Don't be so surprised Master, after all, I feel everything you feel." He winced at my comment. "It's only natural your negative emotions would stir me from my slumber." That was a lie. In truth, I haven't slept all day. Not because of my master's feelings but rather my own.

I couldn't bring myself to look at my master's eyes, I notice he is unable to look at mine himself.

"Sorry Shinobu. I just can't seem to calm myself down."

How obscene that my master worries himself so hysterically about a mortal relationship.

"You need not worry yourself over something so trivial Master. In fact, today should be one you rejoice for many years."

"That may be so Shinobu, but Hitagi is likely to take my life if today does not go exactly the way she has planned."

I jump in shock at his response, feigning sadness rivalling a mourning widow.

"But if you die Master, who will purchase my beloved golden chocolate donuts for me?"

"That's your first concern after my death!" He replies, his jaw agape.

"I need not concern myself with any other affair Master. However, with my complete vampiric status returned I could simply take as many donuts as I desire. Yes, I should be encouraging you to make a fool of yourself, all the world's greatest treasures would become mine." I laugh maniacally to sell my adorable evil.

"I obviously can't allow you to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting staff of Mister Donut. I will have to stop you here and now." My master takes a battle stance, his eyes have a gleam of bloodlust or what could easily be mistaken for his usual lolicon perversions.

My attempts to calm my master are likely in vain but I can already feel our banter is relieving his anxiety. Exchanges like these are commonplace between us now. It's rare for us to speak from the heart to each other, yet I think that makes those moments all the more precious.

I secretly wish I could be upfront with the full breadth of my feelings, but I respect my master and his feelings too much.

I strafe around my master before mirroring his own stance.

"Good luck to you then Master. My biggest detriment is my current form as a young girl, however that also serves as my greatest weapon against a foe like you."

He rushes at me, head first, screaming indecipherable garbage. Intending to ram me, a ridiculous strategy, as such I effortlessly evade his feeble attempt. He collides head first into the wall behind me.

Ouch. That hurts me too, you fool.

"Looks like victory belongs to me." I say as he dislodges his head from the now punctured wall.

"Thanks, Shinobu. I needed that. You always know how to help when I need you. It's times like these I'm glad you were the vampire I met during that fateful spring break." My master says this in one of his rare serious tones, I've only ever heard him speak like this when he is genuinely concerned. His eyes bore into the hole created by his rapidly decelerated head.

I'm thankful my master hasn't turned around, this way he wouldn't notice my cheeks reddening at his sudden declaration. I take a moment to compose myself. "Anytime, my master."

Blushing. What am I? A teenage girl love-struck by a famous idol!

Ridiculous that a man has reduced me to this state with merely a few words.

"Do you think I should marry Hitagi?" He asks with a dreary tone.

I can't believe it, in all our years together I think this is the first time he has asked me about relationship advice with his lover. I've honestly never thought about it seriously. I decided long ago that I would respect his relationship with that woman and let him live a relatively human life. Well for the first 100 or so years of our time together anyway.

I'm not necessarily jealous of the variety of unique admirers my master has garnered through his adolescence, if anything I'm proud of my master's popularity.

My master's soul is eternally bonded to me and no other. I'm quite confident I would rank higher than anyone else in his mind. However, I do find it frustrating that my master shamelessly flirts with whatever damsel comes his way.

His current relationship with that homicidal, stationary wielding woman has proved to be something he cherishes without contest. I'd be daft to not notice the sincerity of his feelings for her.

Do I think she's an appropriate mistress for my master?

I suppose...

Hitagi Senjougahara.

I don't learn human's names very often, but this human is special because she is just that.

Human. I'm almost jealous.

Her mostly ordinary life and detachment from the supernatural is well suited for my master's wish to live an idealistic human life.

Judging by his question now, he might be coming to accept the impossibility of that wish.

"I'm sorry Master." I say bitterly. "But, I can't provide any meaningful advice on the relationships between two humans. My knowledge and experience almost entirely revolves around the world of oddities now." He looks unsatisfied with my reply. I know I could tell him hopeful or comforting words of advice but I can't bring myself to do it.

"Then tell me your advice from the perspective of an oddity." He finally turns to look me in the eyes. There's a hint of determination in his facial expression, I can tell I won't be able to avoid answering his questions. "I want to know your opinion on my relationship with Hitagi, what would you do if you were in my position?"

I raise a single finger to my chin as I ponder a suitable answer.

"I think," taking a shallow breath, "you should follow through with what your heart desires my master. Whatever your choice, just make it your own. That's what I would do." Technically that was an honest answer, although that's certainly not the complete answer of what I would like my master to do.

"Unfortunately my heart is horribly conflicted right now." He says sorrowfully.

I wouldn't openly admit it but it pains me that I don't know how to help him in his time of need. All my strength, knowledge, and devotion are completely useless in the face of this problem.

His heart is conflicted, how does he think I feel!

No, I'm sure there must be a reason for my master's sudden inner conflict.

"Master as much as I'd like to give you advice, I am unable to without understanding what it is you're trying to accomplish?" I walk to stand in front of him to prevent him from avoiding my question. I intend to know precisely what is troubling him to this extent.

"I've been thinking about the future a lot lately. Being a husband has weighed on my mind, being a father as well. I'm a little worried about my lifespan relative to Hitagi's, my lifespan relative to everyone. I'm not sure I can even age let alone die as I am now. Not to mention, the impact my life will have on our families. There's so much uncertainty, I'm scared of what the future may bring."

I can't help but feel a little smug knowing that my original assumptions were correct.

Still, I sense a feeling of dread transferring across our link.

Surely this isn't the first time this intentionally dense man has thought on this topic. I know it's not the first time we have discussed this matter, but this might be the first time he has assessed his relationship with that woman whilst considering the ramifications.

"Then don't wed her." I said it as bluntly as I could. Instantly his face turned even more sour.

But, I actually said it. I said something cruel and truly selfish.

How horrible I am.

Yet he hasn't said anything, his silence is torturous. Literally burning alive doesn't compare to this.

Please just say one of your trademark Araragi lines or use your over-the-top perversion to diffuse the mood. Please Master, anything!

"I don't think I can make a decision like that so half-heartedly. Being with her could prove to be the hardest challenge in my life, am I really ready for it?" He says as water pools around the bottom edges of his eyelids. I can tell there's a gargantuan beast of sadness resting on his heart. "Can I really provide Hitagi with the life she desires, the family, the sense of security." This sadness is unbelievably heavy. The weight of the planet is infinitesimal compared to it. "I just feel inadequate." I didn't realise my master felt this way towards another person.

Fool.

Doesn't he realise how that makes me feel.

"Master, please calm yourself." I'm on the verge of tearing up myself.

"I'm sorry Shinobu, I know I shouldn't burden you with these questions or emotions. It's times like these I wish I could turn to Hanekawa or Oshino for advice." He says in a more optimistic tone. Though certainly those two individuals could assist my master in his time of need, another reminder that I'm powerless compared to those humans.

However, to my surprise, my master started laughing. Laughing like a bored vampire with far too many years behind her to care for self-restraint. His roaring laughter echoed and bounced through the room continuously like an oscillating wave of noise. I'm sure many curious ears can hear the ruckus caused by his exuberant behaviour.

It's a rarity that my master laughs aloud to this extent, my own curious ears are urging me to probe him further.

"What amuses you so much Master?"

"Nothing particularly funny," he says clearly not realising the obscene amount of noise he just made, "I'm just imagining what both would say to me if they were here."

My master slicks back his ruffled hair, combing it back to its formal façade.

"Hanekawa would probably be disappointed in me for not being my normal fearless self and Oshino would tell me that whatever my problems are, the only one who could do anything about them is myself."

I must admit, it's almost like the class prez and Hawaiian shirt are actually here.

"I do agree with your predictions but I fail to see the humour in it." I say as I finally disengage our locked eyes and turn my back to the incorrigible man behind me.

"That's just it Shinobu, there's no real solution to this." I glance over my shoulder and notice a triumphant grin on his face. "Whatever my decision eventually someone will likely get hurt. I love Hitagi and want to be with her, whatever the challenges may be, I'll fight them head first, charging with reckless abandon!"

I completely lack the ability to comprehend how that is a victory in his favour, but I'm relieved he is no longer absorbed in his worries.

"It certainly sounds like you've found your resolve. No matter your choice, I'll support you always Master." That almost sounds like a confession.

Raising a fist to his heart he declares "well, with the help of a legendary vampire I should have nothing to fear. That's just how lucky I am to have you around Shinobu."

I smile. Ear to ear, a great widespread smile loiters on my face.

Bliss was a feeling I conceded to never truly experience in my long lifetime. It may have taken a while, but at least now I get to enjoy it for as long as fate allows it. Thank you Master.

Unfortunately, my smile fades as I get taken back to the event at hand.

"It's almost time to start your ceremony Master, it's best for all of us if you don't keep that woman waiting." I say with sullen eyes.

He stands silent for a few moments, visibly having another internal debate. His face suddenly perks up. "Yes, it is. But, there's still the issue of the notorious groom screwing up the momentous wedding at the worst possible moment." His brow raises, his mischievous gaze suggesting nothing but trouble. "For that reason, Shinobu don't you think it's best I had a little practice."

Pardon?

What does he mean. He couldn't possibly be implying what I think he is. I stare blankly at him.

"Practice?" I ask him.

"Yes! Practice! After all, I wouldn't want to ruin the ceremony."

"And, what exactly do you want to practice?" My voice comes out a little shrill, anyone's would at that suggestion.

"Practice exchanging vows and also, marrying me." He answers like it was the most casual request in the world.

"Normally that's not something that needs to be practiced Master, all you have to do is stand there and repeat a few simple lines." I respond hoping he doesn't notice the tension in my voice.

"What? Don't tell me the king of all oddities is scared!" His mocking tone would normally irritate me but my own flurry of emotions stops that.

Maybe he noticed my mood change from before. Maybe he just genuinely is so calamitous of a man that he needs the practice.

No, he's denser than a neutron star, but not incompetent to the same degree.

But I'll play into his goading this time.

Maybe I want to.

"Ok Master, I'll humour you on this special occasion. Let's get married, for practice." I say beaming my brightest smile at him.

I wouldn't mind the indulgence and I don't see the harm that can come from the charade.

Although a marriage between us is redundant at this point. Like I said earlier, human marriage is a child's plaything compared to our bond.

So why does his wedding bother me so much?

Jealousy doesn't look good on anyone, even myself.

"Although, I never technically proposed." His voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"You need not worry yourself over that Master. As far as I'm concerned you proposed the moment you first offered your neck to this dying vampire." I say with a hand on my chest.

I hold my palm out, gesturing for him to take it. He lightly grasps my hand and takes the other as well.

I'm a little shocked at the predicament that I'm in. I've seen numerous weddings over my long life, I never expected to be a participant.

"I'm relieved to hear that. I take it that means you accepted my proposal the moment you made me your servant?"

"Of course! As if you could interpret it any other way." I let out a slight laugh answering his question.

"Did you ever expect us to make it this far?" He asks bemused.

"No, I did not. However, I'll tell you this. I'm glad you were the one who saved me. I'm glad we have come this far together. I'm glad the two of us have found new life in each other. I'm glad you are the one who I will spend the remainder of my life with." His cheeks take on a red hue at my response, that was a worthwhile victory for me.

From the heart.

Rare, but all the more precious because of it.

"I feel the same way." He says looking straight through my eyes and into my soul.

My heart flutters.

Flutter, flutter, flutter.

Why is there a bird in my chest now of all times?

Superb counter attack my master, I expected nothing less from you.

"I'm a little unprepared though," he says with a sheepish smirk, "I barely managed to write vows for my real wedding."

"We can improvise. That seems to be our usual approach to most things. A few simple words are small fry compared to the monstrosities we have faced thus far."

"Then it's settled! But, before we start the practice wedding ceremony between a half-assed human and a half-assed vampire, do you think you could change your appearance to one of your older forms? I don't think I'm strong enough to resist my darker temptations when you appear like this."

I will never cease to be amazed by the severity of his debasement.

I am not entirely sure who the real monster is.

"For starters," I say with an impatient expression, "you should refrain from calling your practice or real bride a half-assed anything." I suppress my urge to deliver a signature vampire punch. To his request, I guess it would make it more convenient if I was closer to his eye level. "Don't mistake me Master, I'm only doing this because I feel empathetic towards your current crisis and want to lift your spirits. You should also reward with me with dozens of delicious donuts for this, but yes, I will age my current form as you desire." His face immediately lights up at my answer, his look of glee is one I will never tire to enjoy myself. "Without turning you into a vampire I can only age myself to that of a late teenager for a short period. I hope that will suffice. Offer me thy neck and I can begin."

On my instruction, he hoists the collar of his kimono and presents his bare flesh to me. He kneels on one leg and brings me closer to his chest. I gently lick the mark on his neck of my historical ministrations. My sharp canines effortlessly pierce his skin, his blood quickly pouring out.

I immediately feel his blood flow down my throat, the taste divine, I wish to never stop drinking it. It's become exceptionally rare for me to drink my master's blood since his adamant stance on my direct involvement with dangerous oddities.

Some call it a vampire's kiss, the sensation is indescribable. My master's own pleasure transferring through to me as well, I almost forgot the feeling of rapture it elicits.

Humans wish they could experience this ecstasy.

A golden aura surrounds my body as I start ageing and growing rapidly, my dress changing size to match my body. My physical form becoming marginally taller than his.

My appearance reminiscent of my youthful self at 18 years of age, adolescence taking its bountiful toll on my womanly features.

I realise my beauty has captivated the eyes of men and women alike for centuries, but the only gaze I care for now belongs to a certain foolhardy individual.

Moments later I realise my own pleasure must come to an end. I remove my fangs from his neck and close his wound with a chaste lick. His body shutters as we separate. We return to our positions before that, brief, intermission.

"So beautiful..." He barely whispers.

I hide my thrill at the flattery.

"With that out of the way," I say to him, "now is as good as time as any to begin, would you like to start us off?"

I wonder what this man will say to me.

I wonder what I will say to him.

He takes a deep breath, time stands frozen as I wait in anticipation for his words.

"Shinobu, I vow to always be by your side. To always protect you to the best of my ability. To come rescue you whenever you need it. I vow to always buy you your favourite donuts," now there's a good one, "and I'll always try to keep you smiling. I vow to never let you suffer alone again and to never let another moment in your long life be a boring one. I will always be an ear to your crazy tales and hope to star in an endless novel of your future ones too."

I know you will do all those things my master.

That's why I feel the way I do.

"I vow if you are to die tomorrow, I'm fine with my life ending as well. But if you want to live for me one more day, I'll go on living with you today as well."

Flutter. Curse my heart, those words never fail to make it race.

He hasn't looked away for even a moment, this is its own kind of torture.

One I wouldn't mind experiencing.

"I vow to be the best servant, the best master, the best partner I can possibly be. Shinobu, I vow to be yours eternally."

No wonder humans do this, it feels like my soul is being embraced by his.

Thank you Master for allowing me to experience this in my lifetime.

"Well-spoken Master, I think your worries about today are supremely trivial." I say to him behind an invisible curtain of happiness causing tears to almost form.

I take a deep breath myself, a moment to collect myself.

My turn.

"Master, I vow to always care for you with no equal. I vow to stay by your side for all eternity if you'll allow me. I vow to always protect you from any enemy and to smite your enemies as if they were my own." His eyes briefly flash a look of trepidation at that last vow. "I also vow to eat all the delicious donuts you could possibly ever provide." He laughs as his smile returns, my own grin creeping up. "I vow to remain your partner until I die. If you are to die the day after tomorrow, my life will also come to an end in three days' time, in that time I will tell the tale of my master with unmatched pride to anyone willing to listen. I vow to be entirely loyal to you and you alone. I vow to be your treasure and to treasure you. To always be the cutest and most adorable person in the world for you. I vow to live for you and revel in life together..."

With you.

"With you."

Forever.

"Forever!"

Crimson blood adorns my Rosie cheeks as a few tears stream down my face. I guess I wasn't strong enough to hide these emotions. That's how far we've come my master.

"Master, I vow to be spellbound to your soul for eternity." That's it, that's the complete scope of my heart for you. Is it enough?

I can feel his delight drift through our link, a lone tear escaping his eyes as I wipe away mine.

Not bad if I do say so myself.

He sniffles and nervously clears his throat.

"Shinobu, that was beautiful. Thank you. I'm honoured. I must be the luckiest person on the planet, even if it is just a practice ceremony."

No, the lucky one would be me Master.

"You're wrong, that honour is mine." I say to him with entire sincerity. "Before you get ahead of yourself, you're forgetting something, one question still remains."

"One question?" He asks.

I scoff. "Yes, it's an especially important one too. Master, do you take me to be your practice wedding wife?"

Without hesitation, he answers. "I do."

Flutter, flutter, flutter!

This damn aviary.

"And Shinobu, do you take me to be your practice wedding husband?"

"I do."

Of course, I do!

"I love you, Koyomi." I don't regret saying it for a second. Even I desire to express the sentiment from time to time.

"I love you too Shinobu." He says without a hint of error in his voice.

Never mind an aviary, there's an atomic bomb in my chest!

I didn't realise hearing it so directly felt like that.

"Lucky it's just for practice." I say to diffuse the bomb in my chest. "Otherwise, we might actually be wedded."

I deftly look away intending to distance myself before my embarrassment peaks any higher. To my surprise his grip on my hands tightens, he must've noticed my intentions.

"Aren't you the one who is forgetting something now?" He asks with his own grin on display.

I tilt my head in puzzlement at his question.

"I don't think I ha-" he closes the distance between us hastily and steals my lips in a delicate yet firm kiss. Hugging me tightly, his arms securely binding my waist, reminiscent of our first years ago, except this time both my heart and I don't want him to let go.

My earlier efforts were in vain, there's a catastrophic explosion in my chest.

Millions of deaths.

Thermonuclear in design. I should praise the engineer for his work.

His lips part from mine as my heart slowly eases back down to a normal rhythm. Much to my chagrin.

"That's what you were forgetting Shinobu." He says, his triumphant grin returning for a blockbuster sequel.

His smile is infectious. If I didn't know any better I'd swear his charm and vampiric magnetism was still ever present.

"You'll be more than capable in your actual ceremony Master. I'm sure that woman will have no complaints." I say finally letting go of his hands. I walk away from him to give my heart some room to breathe. "I'll be cheering you on in your shadow, so don't disappoint me. I'd hate to go back on my vows so soon."

"Wait! Just one last time, thank you Shinobu. I'm glad it's you who I get to share my eternal life with."

"Like I said in my vows; I wish to be with you always, and forever. Don't you think it's time you started focussing on the girl not right in front of you. Good luck, Master."

I flashed him one last smile before descending into his shadow.

Not only my body but my feelings have matured. My heart has been set ablaze by our exchange, I hope I can recover to enjoy the celebrations later without causing suspicion to our actions. I hope no one was there to witness our exchange, I'd hate to be murdered by stationary.

I lost a great battle today.

All the exorcists in the world pale in comparison to my master.

I'm lucky my regeneration powers are so effective otherwise I might be a dead legendary vampire.

But that man is truly something else.

Maybe he did notice how I was feeling after all.

I meant every word I said and I know he did too. Maybe one day we can exchange vows that aren't for practice.

Today is a day I will never forget.

Thank you Koyomi.

We have plenty of time together. I'm happy just to remain by your side. I know I'm already in your heart like you are in mine.

I love you.

FIN

* * *

A\N: Well what did you think? Let me know! Please don't hate on me too hard for my idea, I kind of just did this as a fun little side project for my main writing.

I welcome any and all constructive criticisms.

Till next time.


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